When a child is born into a family, there begins a discovery by the child of who he or she is. This discovery is done by relating to the mother and father during infancy and early childhood. If the parents pay attention to the baby, pray over the baby, speak to him or her, laugh and play with the baby and attend to the needs of the baby, the formation of the baby’s personhood can develop naturally. But if there are distractions, crises, dysfunction in the parents, inability to express love or give the baby what he or she needs, then the baby cannot grow and discover who he or she is.
In the great eighth chapter of Romans, which is the solution to St. Paul's wrestling with his sin in chapter seven, we see a profound truth. It is that those who live according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires, set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh. But those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit, set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the Holy Spirit. So the life of the Spirit requires a mind change.